Alright ladies, I'm doing it, I'm putting it out there! Hopefully we can hear something from both sides on this one. Maybe I should have waited until I have more readers for this topic so there would be more responses? Oh well, too late! Guys, you might want to comment anonymously!!
PMS - I don't know how many houses it comes up in but let me just say, it has come up in mine! I'm sure a lady shouldn't speak of such things in public but I am kind of on the fence with that whole "lady" thing. My close friends know better of me. How many of you "ladies" out there have ever been a little grumpy only to have your significant other have some sort of comment regarding PMS?
According to my research, PMS is real. Ok, I will you give you that, we all knew this. Approximately 75% of women are affected by PMS (to read more about PMS, see this article). Does this mean that we are only sane and able to make good decisions about two weeks out of every month? I think not. Here's what really bothers me about this whole, "you're pms'ing", thing. It's an instant dismissal of whatever I have just said. It says to me that you think I am incapable of clear thought during whatever are deemed to be my pms days. If that's the case, I'm not sure how I've made it this far!
I am usually pretty laid back, I will admit that I might get a little grumpy; I don't even realize it until it's pointed out to me. It's only noticeable because I am just so nice the rest of the time! Maybe there's a better, more respectful way to point it out. There has to be a middle ground on this debate right? After all, if 75% of women experience PMS, it could get pretty dangerous for you guys if we started our own army.
I am sure we have all heard the comments about electing a female President. Women are just too emotional to lead a country. I can see the headlines now: "PMS'ing President seen crying over sappy commercial", or "President so-and-so ordered the bombing of Alaska today over argument with Sarah Palin...both were PMS'ing", or maybe "President yadda yadda seen eating Lindt Truffles today, must be that time"!
Seriously? I don't mean to stereotype here, not everyone is the same. Women are powerful. I don't consider myself a feminist but want to point out a few things. We carry, birth and raise our children, work full time jobs, run a house, start businesses, write books and go until we can't go any more. So if PMS is a real thing, we do all of these things while bloating, cramping, wanting to eat a box of chocolates and bite everyone's head off. We still somehow manage to maintain control, for the most part anyway, and get it done!
Yes, there are plenty of men who do most of this as well, I am not discounting you here. It's that emotional part that really drives us. It's what makes us mysterious and special. It's what keeps you CRAZY MEN coming back for more! The good news is, there is no more PMS after menopause so hang in there guys! You only have to wait until we hit our late 40's or 50's. Sad but interesting fact, there are more male babies born than female every year yet after age 35, there are more women than men in the world. From what I read the decline in the male population is due to things like war (thank you to the amazing men and women who fight for us every day), occupational hazards, and disease. Hopefully it's not PMS related.
As a side and more serious note to you girls out there, if you experience severe PMS symptoms, you may have PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder). See the link to the article above for more information.
Let me know your thoughts, I'm tough, I can take it!
Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
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Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Inspiring Your Children - Charlie "Tremendous" Jones
Today's entry ties into yesterday's entry a little. It's sometimes difficult to find a way to inspire our children, even when we think we know what makes them tick. Something that works one day may not work the next. My daughter does not like to read. I don't think it's because she doesn't enjoy it as much as she is not good at turning what she read into what teachers want to see on paper.
Check out this article on Charlie "Tremendous" Jones to see how one father was able to inspire his son to greatness. He started out with an average teenager trying to save to buy a car and turned it in to so much more. Wouldn't it be great if this could actually work for our children? In my case, I may have to start out reading the books with her but hey, that's a good thing right?
The article lists a few books but I can think of many others! This would be a great place to post a list of some of your suggested reading materials that could inspire our children to greatness! Read the article when you have a moment and, as always, let me know your thoughts!
Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
Check out this article on Charlie "Tremendous" Jones to see how one father was able to inspire his son to greatness. He started out with an average teenager trying to save to buy a car and turned it in to so much more. Wouldn't it be great if this could actually work for our children? In my case, I may have to start out reading the books with her but hey, that's a good thing right?
The article lists a few books but I can think of many others! This would be a great place to post a list of some of your suggested reading materials that could inspire our children to greatness! Read the article when you have a moment and, as always, let me know your thoughts!
Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Inspire Your Kids - Readers Digest Article
I keep a reading file of articles that I want to read again later or refer back to at another time. One such article is dated February, 2008 from Readers Digest, "Inspire Your Kids" by Cynthia Dermody. Here is a link to the article. It's about watching what you say to your children and better ways to say it. I sure am feeling like a bad mom now!
After reading this, I am starting to understand why my daughter sometimes has trouble talking to me. It's not that we don't talk, we do. I think she is afraid of me being too hard on her instead of just listening and being there for her. Part of that comes from my need as a mother to help her solve her problems. This has come up a few times recently with the middle school drama! I thought fifth grade was the worst, I was so wrong. I try to help her see how something she has done or said may have triggered a response she wasn't prepared for.
The most recent incident was last week. She was discussing another friend with one of her friends and said that the friend they were discussing was mean sometimes. Well the friend she was discussing this with told the other friend and boy did she prove the truth in what was said (hopefully you were able to follow that)! She blind-sided my daughter in the cafeteria, lots of yelling, in front of everyone of course, so my daughter had her feelings hurt and was embarrassed. The girl also threatened to beat her up. My daughter went to the principal and explained what had happened and wanted to make sure the principal knew that if this person hit her, she was going to defend herself.
This went on all week, my daughter sat by herself at lunch as the girl rallied all of the friends and turned them against her. It broke my heart to hear this so I tried to really break it down with her from the beginning. How what she said made the other girl feel and if her friend is "mean", then she reacted the way she knows how to react, by being mean. I discussed trust with her again and how you have to be careful what you tell people because you don't know what they will do with the information. I told her that you shouldn't talk about people, even if you think what you are saying is justified. Basically, after reading this article again, my daughter probably heard "you screwed up and it's your fault this happened", and "don't trust anyone".
My daughter went back to school the next day and tried to talk to the girl and apologize for what she said. Her apology was not accepted so now it's just a matter of waiting for things to blow over.
My point here is, how is it that we think we are teaching our children and helping them through a situation and end up making them feel like they can't do anything right? It's like you need a psychology course before you have children and have to take continuing education classes until they are 25 to keep up with the current trends. Following your instincts doesn't seem good enough anymore. Maybe I should start a parent's support group. We can meet once a week to discuss how difficult it is to raise our children right and how bad we are messing it up!
Ok, maybe I'm not doing that bad! I have a wonderful, caring daughter that is blossoming into an intuitive, street-savvy, smart teenager. She learns not only from her mistakes but the mistakes of others as well. She does still talk to me, at least for now. I think I am going to work on asking her more leading questions so she can get to the answer on her own instead of taking her down the road of "here's where you went wrong". After all, isn't the point of going through the drama and growing up to learn from your mistakes and hopefully come out a stronger person in the end?
I think it's time for mama bear to stop trying to rescue her cub and let her fight her way through it a little more. That's not to say I won't be here, I will. If she comes to things on her own she can be proud of herself for solving the problem and have more faith in her ability to do so in the future. Any thoughts on this topic? I would love to hear them, especially from parents who made it through the teenage years! Your experience can help the rest of us!
Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
After reading this, I am starting to understand why my daughter sometimes has trouble talking to me. It's not that we don't talk, we do. I think she is afraid of me being too hard on her instead of just listening and being there for her. Part of that comes from my need as a mother to help her solve her problems. This has come up a few times recently with the middle school drama! I thought fifth grade was the worst, I was so wrong. I try to help her see how something she has done or said may have triggered a response she wasn't prepared for.
The most recent incident was last week. She was discussing another friend with one of her friends and said that the friend they were discussing was mean sometimes. Well the friend she was discussing this with told the other friend and boy did she prove the truth in what was said (hopefully you were able to follow that)! She blind-sided my daughter in the cafeteria, lots of yelling, in front of everyone of course, so my daughter had her feelings hurt and was embarrassed. The girl also threatened to beat her up. My daughter went to the principal and explained what had happened and wanted to make sure the principal knew that if this person hit her, she was going to defend herself.
This went on all week, my daughter sat by herself at lunch as the girl rallied all of the friends and turned them against her. It broke my heart to hear this so I tried to really break it down with her from the beginning. How what she said made the other girl feel and if her friend is "mean", then she reacted the way she knows how to react, by being mean. I discussed trust with her again and how you have to be careful what you tell people because you don't know what they will do with the information. I told her that you shouldn't talk about people, even if you think what you are saying is justified. Basically, after reading this article again, my daughter probably heard "you screwed up and it's your fault this happened", and "don't trust anyone".
My daughter went back to school the next day and tried to talk to the girl and apologize for what she said. Her apology was not accepted so now it's just a matter of waiting for things to blow over.
My point here is, how is it that we think we are teaching our children and helping them through a situation and end up making them feel like they can't do anything right? It's like you need a psychology course before you have children and have to take continuing education classes until they are 25 to keep up with the current trends. Following your instincts doesn't seem good enough anymore. Maybe I should start a parent's support group. We can meet once a week to discuss how difficult it is to raise our children right and how bad we are messing it up!
Ok, maybe I'm not doing that bad! I have a wonderful, caring daughter that is blossoming into an intuitive, street-savvy, smart teenager. She learns not only from her mistakes but the mistakes of others as well. She does still talk to me, at least for now. I think I am going to work on asking her more leading questions so she can get to the answer on her own instead of taking her down the road of "here's where you went wrong". After all, isn't the point of going through the drama and growing up to learn from your mistakes and hopefully come out a stronger person in the end?
I think it's time for mama bear to stop trying to rescue her cub and let her fight her way through it a little more. That's not to say I won't be here, I will. If she comes to things on her own she can be proud of herself for solving the problem and have more faith in her ability to do so in the future. Any thoughts on this topic? I would love to hear them, especially from parents who made it through the teenage years! Your experience can help the rest of us!
Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Facebook and Relationships
We've heard a lot about this topic! Facebook is ruining relationships across the world...it's a fact right? Before Facebook came along, people who were otherwise apparently happily married turned into cheaters almost overnight! What's the reason for this?
Is it that they weren't so happy in their marriage after all, could it be they were comfortable and maybe the warm fuzzies weren't what they expected after the courting stage was over, or is the nostalgia of what could have been with an old flame? Obviously every situation is different, I think it's more the latter.
According to Wikipedia "The term nostalgia describes a yearning for the past, often in idealized form.The word is a learned formation of a Greek compounds, consisting of νόστος, nóstos, "returning home", a Homeric word, and ἄλγος, álgos, "pain" or "ache". It was described as a medical condition, a form of melancholy, in the Early Modern period, and came to be an important topic in Romanticism."
Can you believe it was once considered a medical condition? It's probably because so many people have suffered from it's effects! Have you ever known someone that is stuck in the past, like 20+ years ago, and just can't let it go? Always talking about an old girlfriend or boyfriend or "the way things used to be".
It gets old fast...I know, I have seen it plenty. It's been good, everything is going along fine, it's been six months without a thought or word about an old flame and then WHAM! You get that "Hey stranger..." email or friend request and Love comes walking in. I have heard the success stories from a few of these relationships but how many of them don't work? I can't seem to find any statistics on this but I am willing to bet most don't work. I just hope these people are getting to know that lost love from 20, 30 or even 40 years ago before they destroy their families. I am not the person I was back then, not that I was a bad person. I don' t think you will find too many people to be what you remember from that long ago. Is a "yearning from the past, often in idealized form" worth throwing what you have away? People have it better than they think they do, how do we get them to realize it?
If I am ever in this situation, and I pray to God I never am, I don't know that I would have the strength to try to make my husband see how good things really are. I would be so hurt, I don't know that my ego would let me. Share your thoughts, I am curious if anyone out there in my e-universe circle has been through this and would be comfortable sharing your experience. It just might help someone else one day.
I am not a doctor. Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
Is it that they weren't so happy in their marriage after all, could it be they were comfortable and maybe the warm fuzzies weren't what they expected after the courting stage was over, or is the nostalgia of what could have been with an old flame? Obviously every situation is different, I think it's more the latter.
According to Wikipedia "The term nostalgia describes a yearning for the past, often in idealized form.The word is a learned formation of a Greek compounds, consisting of νόστος, nóstos, "returning home", a Homeric word, and ἄλγος, álgos, "pain" or "ache". It was described as a medical condition, a form of melancholy, in the Early Modern period, and came to be an important topic in Romanticism."
Can you believe it was once considered a medical condition? It's probably because so many people have suffered from it's effects! Have you ever known someone that is stuck in the past, like 20+ years ago, and just can't let it go? Always talking about an old girlfriend or boyfriend or "the way things used to be".
It gets old fast...I know, I have seen it plenty. It's been good, everything is going along fine, it's been six months without a thought or word about an old flame and then WHAM! You get that "Hey stranger..." email or friend request and Love comes walking in. I have heard the success stories from a few of these relationships but how many of them don't work? I can't seem to find any statistics on this but I am willing to bet most don't work. I just hope these people are getting to know that lost love from 20, 30 or even 40 years ago before they destroy their families. I am not the person I was back then, not that I was a bad person. I don' t think you will find too many people to be what you remember from that long ago. Is a "yearning from the past, often in idealized form" worth throwing what you have away? People have it better than they think they do, how do we get them to realize it?
If I am ever in this situation, and I pray to God I never am, I don't know that I would have the strength to try to make my husband see how good things really are. I would be so hurt, I don't know that my ego would let me. Share your thoughts, I am curious if anyone out there in my e-universe circle has been through this and would be comfortable sharing your experience. It just might help someone else one day.
I am not a doctor. Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Customer Service Complaints
To complain or not to complain, that is the question! This is something I struggle with a bit when it comes to customer service. To any friends that heard the story 15 times already, I apologize!
I had an appointment set up for new installation of cable, telephone and internet service Friday with the technician arriving between 8 am and 12 pm. He arrived some time around 10:30 am. There was some trouble with the cable installation so they had to restart it a couple of times but after that all appeared to be well. As the installer is leaving the box reboots again all on its own...then a couple minutes later, it does it again. I go out to try to catch the guy as he is pulling out of the driveway, to no avail! I call the cable company and explain the situation, they call the installer back and he calls me. He has me try a couple of things but the box is still rebooting.
He told me he could be back to replace the box in a "couple of hours". At this point it is 11:20 so I am thinking he will be here around 1:20. At 3:00, still no service man! I call him again to find out his timeframe but his phone keeps dropping the call. I finally get him on the phone at 3:30. He tells me he can be here by 4:15, I told him that was fine as long as he would be finished by 4:35 as I had to leave at that time. He said it wouldn't take long. At 4:45, still no service man. I tried to call several times and finally just left a message stating that I had to leave. I was livid! I had waited all day to get this resolved, didn't run out and grab lunch as I was afraid I would miss him, didn't get to pick my daughter up from school as previously planned and was late getting home so my nanny could leave.
As I was getting ready to go out on a much needed date with the hubby, this service man calls me, at this point it is 6:40, to see if we are still at the house! I couldn't believe it. When I asked him what happened he said he had a couple of installations in Lusby he had to do before he could get to me and he "stuck his foot in his mouth". I told him that was not a good enough reason and if he knew at 3:30 that he was 30 miles away from me and had more installations to do before he could get here then he knew before he even gave me that time that he wasn't going to make it. All he could say was that I was right and his mistake was trying to make everyone happy. I'm sorry but I don't see how he could possibly think he was making me happy in any way!
So the struggle is this; do I complain to the cable company about the extremely poor service and disruption to my life (not to mention the mental distress!) and risk getting this guy in trouble or do I take the higher road and let the universe handle it? Let me know your thoughts!
I am not a doctor. Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
I had an appointment set up for new installation of cable, telephone and internet service Friday with the technician arriving between 8 am and 12 pm. He arrived some time around 10:30 am. There was some trouble with the cable installation so they had to restart it a couple of times but after that all appeared to be well. As the installer is leaving the box reboots again all on its own...then a couple minutes later, it does it again. I go out to try to catch the guy as he is pulling out of the driveway, to no avail! I call the cable company and explain the situation, they call the installer back and he calls me. He has me try a couple of things but the box is still rebooting.
He told me he could be back to replace the box in a "couple of hours". At this point it is 11:20 so I am thinking he will be here around 1:20. At 3:00, still no service man! I call him again to find out his timeframe but his phone keeps dropping the call. I finally get him on the phone at 3:30. He tells me he can be here by 4:15, I told him that was fine as long as he would be finished by 4:35 as I had to leave at that time. He said it wouldn't take long. At 4:45, still no service man. I tried to call several times and finally just left a message stating that I had to leave. I was livid! I had waited all day to get this resolved, didn't run out and grab lunch as I was afraid I would miss him, didn't get to pick my daughter up from school as previously planned and was late getting home so my nanny could leave.
As I was getting ready to go out on a much needed date with the hubby, this service man calls me, at this point it is 6:40, to see if we are still at the house! I couldn't believe it. When I asked him what happened he said he had a couple of installations in Lusby he had to do before he could get to me and he "stuck his foot in his mouth". I told him that was not a good enough reason and if he knew at 3:30 that he was 30 miles away from me and had more installations to do before he could get here then he knew before he even gave me that time that he wasn't going to make it. All he could say was that I was right and his mistake was trying to make everyone happy. I'm sorry but I don't see how he could possibly think he was making me happy in any way!
So the struggle is this; do I complain to the cable company about the extremely poor service and disruption to my life (not to mention the mental distress!) and risk getting this guy in trouble or do I take the higher road and let the universe handle it? Let me know your thoughts!
I am not a doctor. Any advice or opinions I give are simply advice from life experience and not that of a professional!
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